Tips on how to have the best hookup dates as an introvert

Hooking up is tough regardless of whether you’re an introvert or extravert. However, it’s especially challenging for shy guys who find it difficult to strike a conversation and flirt with a girl. Well, there is some good news for you – according to statistics, introverts are rather successful in getting laid if only they bother to make the first move. So if you’re interested in having the best hookup in your life, make sure to crawl out of your shell and make things happen.

Hookup and dating sites are a game changer for you

With the advent of online dating no longer you have to approach women in person and go through tortures of being rejected on the spot. Hookup apps and sites are truly a paradise for shy guys like you. All you have to do is join a site of your choice, upload a great profile highlighting the most important aspects of your personality, and add the most attractive pictures. Then you run a search in order to find women you’re most likely to have something in common with.

After filtering all the profiles you’re not interested in it’s time to contact women. You can either come up with some clever pick up lines or write a short and sincere message. You’re not there to correspond for ages in order to get to know each other. People engage in long-term correspondence when they intend to make some serious commitment and find a life partner.

In your case, you just need to make out whether a girl is fun to spend time with or not. Don’t worry about ethical considerations of this matter – in spite of common misconception, not all women are interested in dating and long-term relationships. There are girls who are more for short flings and casual hookups. Otherwise, why would they join a hookup focused site?

So the good this about meeting women online for a shy and introverted guy is that you always have a chance to think before saying something. You don’t have to worry about something silly to slip out. Also, an awkward silence is also not a threat. Exchange a few messages with a girl and ask her out. There is no need to stretch it online for too long. If she agrees, wonderful. If she doesn’t, you don’t have to blame it on yourself, like you would inevitably do in real life.

Don’t underestimate the power of small talk

If you feel small talk is silly and unnecessary, most probably you’re right. It’s much more beneficial to engage in a deep, profound conversation. But when you have the best hookup in mind, things don’t work this way, and it’s highly recommended to master the art of small talk, at least to some extent. The thing is, you’re not supposed to discuss serious things with girls you’d like to hookup with.

They are not there to be amazed by your great personality and deep thoughts. They are there to have fun and enjoy everything you have to offer in bed. But getting straight to action is clumsy, that’s why you need to talk a bit about things of no importance in order to break the ice. After you’re done in bed, don’t talk about anything serious either.

In fact, as soon as you catch yourself discussing deep, meaningful things, you’d better stop at once, otherwise you’re in danger to develop feelings to a person and inevitably get hurt. But keeping in person is not an option either, otherwise a girl might think you didn’t enjoy the experience. So it’s always nice to say something pleasant, something that will make a person feel good.

Don’t avoid parties and public gatherings

Introverts tend to avoid parties or decamp to the corner when they are finally there. No one expects you to party a lot if it’s not in your nature, but avoiding any social gathering is not the way either. This way, you limit your chances of finding someone for the best hookup in your life. If you don’t meet new people, how do you expect to get laid?

The thing to go about it is to set up your boundaries and party on your own terms. Choose smaller groups to join, dance a bit, reveal your interested in subjects people discuss. If you don’t feel like joking and being in the centre of everyone’s attention, make sure to laugh at someone else’s jokes. In other words, make yourself look pleasant and amiable. No need to stay gloomy like Mr. Darcy from Jane Austin’s classic.

Don’t pretend to be someone else

A lot of people tend to make this mistake regardless of their temperament. When trying to impress a person they hope to have the best hookup with, they pretend to be someone they are not. For example, a shy and introverted guy suddenly becomes behaving like an extravert. This technique is bound to fail, anyway, so there is no need to bother. You won’t be able to keep up with a new image, no matter how hard you try. A person’s true nature always shows.

Well, the good news is, a lot of girls don’t mind having anything to do with an introverted guy. In fact, quite a few women would rather prefer spending a night with someone reserved and serious rather than showy, boastful an noisy.

So keep true to yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else, whether you approach a woman on a hookup site or in real life.

Turn your “shortcomings” into virtues

You may think that as an introvert, you have a lot of shortcomings that prevent you from having frequent and easy hookups. The truth is, many women perceive them as virtues, and so should you. The day you manage to change your perspective, you’ll start noticing changes in your dating and hookup game, too. What you see as difficulties in communication, others may perceive as being serious and good-mannered.

What you see as broodiness, others may perceive as the ability of thinking deep thoughts. Besides, introverted people are commonly believed to be creative and artistic, and women do like these sorts of things a lot. So instead of concealing your introverted nature, you may choose to accentuate it in order to have the best hookup date. There are always girls who are bound to find it charming, so why would you waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t?

Stick to hooking up if it’s your choice

If for some reason you’ve chosen hooups over a serious relationship, it’s important to keep this in mind. It’s not typical for introverts to get connected with people on basis of merely physical attraction. Usually they prefer something more profound, something deep and meaningful. A romantic relationship is a special connection for them that gives meaning to life. But if it’s not something you’re looking for at the moment, stick to unwritten chhokup rules, and no one will get hurt.

For one thing, you shouldn’t develop any feelings to a girl you’ve just had the best hookup in your life with. Yes, sex as great, and your hormones make your high with happiness. And you start associating this state of happiness and satisfaction with a person in your bed. It’s a dangerous path that can lead to depression and broken heart, and this is something you’re absolutely not interested in. According to hookup culture, you’re not supposed to become part of each other’s life. You had a great fun, and this is the only thing to be grateful to this person for.

Focus on physical aspects of your connection with a person

One thing about introverts, they are capable of satisfying their partners in more ways than one. For them, to give satisfaction to a person is not only about sex. However, it’s the physical aspect your hookup partner is interested in, so you should focus on that. Make sure you’re great in bed and fun to spend time with, nothing else matters. When you date a girl, you can read books with her and watch movies, go on trips or even try some “extravert” activities. A person you’re in relationship with will definitely appreciate your ways of showing affection and love.

But if you want to have the best hookup date in your life, make sure you perform well and give your partner lots of satisfaction in bed. You can even go as far as asking them about their preferences, likes and dislikes. Feel free to discuss their fantasies and secret desires. If you feel like it, you can also discuss your own likes, but if it’s just too much for you, don’t bother. The key is to have fun and avoid anything that make you feel uncomfortable. Otherwise, what’s the point of getting into hookup games at all?

So these are the tips we would recommend to keep in mind when going on hookup dates as an introvert. If you feel like improvising, do it by all means! All the best!